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06-14-2010, 02:59 PM
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#1
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Resident Avatar Gambler
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 5,997
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Happy Birthday Douglas Mariani!
Happy Birthday Buddy - I hope it's a good one.
I won't make any cracks about how old you are
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
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06-14-2010, 03:24 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 192
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Happy Birthday, Doug, & best wishes for many more to come.
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TIA/R: Gary Wells
'09 Cad CTS-V, 3K miles
'87 Turbo-T Buick, 29K miles
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06-14-2010, 04:11 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,557
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Happy Birthday !!
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I drive a hybrid, It burns gas and rubber..
Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
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06-14-2010, 04:30 PM
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#4
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I, Vettezuki
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 14,754
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Happy Birthday Doug.
Here's an email (I was copied on) from Doug about varying degrees of oldness.
Quote:
Subject: Men's age is determined by trip to the hardware store..
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit: shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's: Stop what you are doing.. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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06-14-2010, 05:01 PM
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#5
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Internet Tough Guy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,545
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Happy birthday!
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2007 C6 z51 416ci, KW variant III, Wilwood WS6, Traqmate.
2005 F-350 PSD 4x4 DRW Lariat
2013 Mustang GT Grabber Blue, track pack, Brembo, Recaro, 3.73s
2009 Jetta Auto 2.5 liter
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06-14-2010, 05:27 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 209
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Have a good one!
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06-14-2010, 06:09 PM
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#7
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That's Mr. Bitch to you.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,265
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Happy Birthday!
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06-14-2010, 06:59 PM
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#8
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Graphics B*tch
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,197
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Happy birthday big guy!
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Adam
'13 Ford Fusion SE (2.0L EcoBoost)(Conor)
'03 Zinc Yellow Mach 1(Yazmine)
290HP / 305TQ
1/4 mile ET: 13.28 @ 101MPH (1.867 60')
'99 White F-150 (4.6L)(Bud Jr.)-gone but never forgotten
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06-14-2010, 07:17 PM
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#9
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FWD = FAIL
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 523
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Happy Birthday you damn nyy fan lol.
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06-14-2010, 08:12 PM
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#10
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FWD = FAIL
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 523
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Anyone for some cake???
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