Home
Don't have an account? Create one now! It's always free!


Forgot Password
Ed's Auto Parts - Mention MOTORGEN for a Discount!
Motorgen Sponsor: McLeod Racing
Motorgen Sponsor: American Muscle - Add style and performance to your Stang
Motorgen Sponsor: Hall Fabrication & Racing
Motorgen Sponsor: Injectors Plus - Performance Fuel Delivery Systems
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-31-2016, 12:16 PM   #1
Douglas MarianiDouglas Mariani is offline
Senior Member
 
Douglas Mariani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 553
Default Happy New Year 2017

Dear Friends
Its New Years Eve and I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you
have forwarded over the year.
I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in
the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But
that will change once I receive the $915,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are
sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the
senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars
with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died
intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me.
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to
seven friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer drink
Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I can no longer buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car
so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no
longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume
sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore
and Uzbekistan . I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my bum.
I can't even pick up the $5 I found dropped in the car park because it
probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to
grab my leg.
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will crap on your head at 5:00pm
tomorrow afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this because it actually
happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's
second husband's cousin's beautician.
By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
discovered that people who don't have enough sex, always read while holding the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Have a fantastic New Year. Thinking of you all.
__________________
08 Corvette Coupe LS3/auto
80 Corvette Coupe L48/auto
68 Corvette Coupe 427/390/4sp
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2017, 04:03 PM   #2
VettezukiVettezuki is offline
I, Vettezuki
 
Vettezuki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 14,723
Default

Happy New Year Doug and all!
__________________
Motorgen on
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Motorgen on
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Motorgen Project Car
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(active)
Motorgen Project Car
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(back burner)
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:06 AM.