[kdracer73]

WHAT'S A $500 CAR, EXACTLY?
A car that reaches the starting line for a grand total investment of $500, including purchase and preparation. The only things not included in that figure are approved safety equipment, brakes, and wheels/tires.



WHY NOT CHEAT ON THE $500 LIMIT?
Because our BS-Factor judging panel will dock you one lap for every additional $10 it thinks you spent. It's also a claiming race, meaning the organizer can buy your car after the race for $500 if he thinks you've been cheating.


IS IT SAFE?
Safety equipment isn't included in the $500 car-purchase price, so you'll have kind of a fighting chance. But car racing just isn't a brilliant thing to be doing. Get used to it.

IS MY CAR GONNA GET HELLA MUNCHED UP?
Oh, almost definitely. LeMons is a non-contact event, but it's a crowded track with a whole lot of really hard driving. And even if your car survives out on the course, halfway through the race one entry will be chosen by popular ballot for immediate crushing. Could be yours. Heck, it probably WILL be yours. Be prepared.


Entry: $500 per car $100 per driver $75 for non-drivers. (Each team must have 4-6 drivers.) This fee covers registration, track time, paddock pass, track insurance, on-site ambulance crew, sweatshop-made commemorative crap, and anything else we come up with by then. Non-driving team members get all the same bennies except track time.

Not going to be working on a car or hanging out in any of the assigned pit spaces? If so, general-access paddock passes are $20/day or $30/weekend, available right at the gate. Grandstand-only seating is offered by the occasional track as well, but that's not something we have any involvement with--please contact the individual race courses to inquire. Each track also has its own policy on children under 16 in the grandstands or paddock; again, contact the course for more info.


2.3: Tire Eligibility: DOT-approved street tires only, minimum treadwear rating 190; no exceptions. BTW, don't call us to moan that there aren't any good tires sold in that range. That's the damn point.
2.4: Whiner Eligibility. Whiners are not eligible to compete. If you believe that you might be a whiner, please check with a domestic partner, guardian, or health-care professional before getting the rest of your team kicked the hell out of the race.


3.7: Fire-Retardant Clothing: Full SFI 3.2/A- or FIA 8856-2000-certified fire-retardant driving suits must be worn by all drivers at all times while inside the car. If using a single-layer SFI 3.2/A1 or 3.2/A3 suit, driver must also wear fire-retardant SFI- or FIA-certified long underwear. Multilayer suits rated SFI 3.2/A5 or higher are highly recommended and may be worn without long underwear. Fire-retardant FIA- or SFI-rated racing gloves and shoes are required. And yeah, while they may very well be superior, military-spec or firefighter suits are not FIA- or SFI-rated, so we can't accept them.
3.7.1: Socks and Other Undergarments: Socks, shirts, and other undergarments made of synthetic material (including nylon, orlon, Spandex, etc.) will melt to the skin in a fire and are strictly forbidden. Fire-retardant (Nomex, Carbon-X, or equivalent) racing socks are mandatory.

4.1.1: Lame-Ass Rationalizations: Cars that "should be" worth $500 don't count; cars that "were worth $500" before you spent another $2000 to fix them don't count; cars you've owned for 20 years and spent more than $500 on during that time don't count; "it would have been worth $500 if it didn't already have a cage" doesn't count. Five hundred dollars means five hundred frickin' dollars.


4.2: Safety Equipment DOES NOT Count Toward $500 Total: Safety equipment described in Section 3 DOES NOT count toward the $500 total. "Safety" refers to things that can save the driver--not things that can save the car.
4.2.1: Beside the items and processes listed in Section 3, the following are considered safety-related and therefore exempt:
Wheels, tires, wheel bearings, balljoints, and brake components
Exhaust systems downstream of the header/exhaust manifold (NOTE: Turbos and related components are NOT exempt from the $500 limit. Nice try.)
Windshields and wipers. (Stock windshields, true Lexan, or circle-track mesh are acceptable; non-Lexan plastic is not acceptable.)
Driver comfort & information (steering wheel, shifter, gauges, pedals, cool suits, vents, heaters, radio)
All fuel hoses, fuel fittings, fuel filters, and related mounts
All fuel-system components upstream of the fuel pump, including tanks/cells, mounts, fillers, vents, etc. (NOTE: Fuel pumps, carburetors, injection pumps, computers, and individual injectors are NOT exempt from the $500 limit.)

4.4: BS Factor: To prevent cheating, all cars will be inspected by a panel appointed by the Organizers. At that time, all teams will be given an opportunity to describe the car's purchase and prep. If the panel believes the limit set out in Rule 4.1 has been exceeded, it will assign a Bullshit Factor (BSF) equal to one BSF per $10 above the limit. The entry will be docked one lap for each BSF assigned. (Ten dollars = one BSF = one lap.) Entrants are very, very, exceedingly strongly encouraged to bring pre-race-prep photographs, verifiable receipts, notarized testimonials, plus any and all other supporting evidence to Tech/BS Inspection. Or at least make up plausible-sounding stories in advance.
4.4.1: Appeal of BSF Panel Decisions: Get real. There's no appealing this decision. You're boned.
4.5: Sponsorships: Conned some hardworking corp into giving you parts or cash? Nice work, but it still counts toward the $500 total. We recommend blowing that sponsorship dough on other stuff instead--hotel rooms, gasoline, entry fees, pedicures, driver suits, personal male enhancement medication, travel expenses, Freudian therapy for the Organizers...things like that

[kdracer73]

Each entry must consist of one car and four to six drivers. (That means four drivers minimum, six drivers maximum. Seriously: Why do you chumps keep on asking?) There is no limit on non-driving crew members, friends, cheerleaders, pizza-delivery boys, osteopathic surgeons, etc.

(I hate this one)
Organizing a Team is expensive. Expect the complete team costs to run about $5000, or about $1000 per driver AFTER personal safety equipment. It is possible to come out a little lower, but not by much without compromising safety. Make sure your drivers know that they are NOT going to spend $500 split 4 ways. Prepare them for $1000-2000 EACH for their first Lemons race on a newly-built car.




Obscure cars are great and the judges love them. Pick one that's small and lightweight, made by a ubiquitous manufacturer, related to a performance model, and has a common wheel bolt pattern. Parts for cars made by rare manufacturers are expensive. Heavy cars are slower and burn through brakes, tires, and gas. Performance tires in less than 17" diameter are difficult to find and most older cars run 15" wheels, so having a common bolt pattern makes your wheel and tire selection much easier. An obvious choice for a LeMon would be a Dodge Omni, which had many parts that interchanged with the Dodge Charger. Ford Fairmonts and Futuras interchange well with Mustangs, but they're not lightweight. Mazda GLCs/323s can accept some RX-7 parts, but be aware that early RX-7s have a rare bolt pattern and some people consider rotaries to be unreliable and difficult to work on. Also consider Nissan Pulsars, Ford Fiestas, Toyota Tercels, Chevy Aveos/Prisms/Metros/Cavaliers, Dodge Neons/Shadows, etc.


Sports cars usually get penalty laps

Forget hot-rodding the car, focus on bulletproofing everything.


Spend time and money on brakes. Take the brakes on each wheel apart and check them. You want calipers that work properly, good rotors that aren't warped or under the minimum thickness, hoses that aren't weather-cracked, and race pads that won't melt under heavy braking. Some cars can get away with parts-store pads, but ask other teams about the particular race you're taking your car to. Some tracks eat brakes. Remove the brake dust shields and duct cool air to your brakes. Too much heat can even kill race pads.


If you go with an automatic, convert your A/C condensor into a super-sized transmission cooler. It's as easy as using a tubing cutter to cut off the A/C fittings and soldering some fuel tubing into the larger line. Use a propane torch and lead solder, not electrical solder.



If you're actually worried about BS laps, print off the craigslist ads you answered, take pictures of money changing hands, get notarized witness statements, get anything you can to support your story and arrange it into a nice, neat, easily viewed binder. At the very front of the binder you will want to put a single sheet of paper with simple numbers on it (BS judges like simple) showing your car's initial cost, what you earned from selling bits of your car and what you spent. It helps if the total at the bottom is under $500 without a lot of creative accounting.



Theme:
Don't skimp on the theme, especially if you wimped out and bought a BMW E30 or Miata. Too many cars show up with some crap spray painted on them to try and make them look crappier. The judges aren't buying it, and may give you penalty laps for not trying. On the other hand, you can make up for having a "cheaty" car by having a very good theme, especially if your theme limits your car's competitiveness. Be creative with the paint! You'd be amazed how much goodwill you will get from the judges if you spend a couple of hours with some masking tape, paint, and rollers. Mix Rustoleum 2:1 with mineral spirits and it will roll on smooth. Try to pick a theme that hasn't been used. If you have to take an overused theme, do it EXCEPTIONALLY WELL - to include costumes, detailed paint, and plywood bodywork. Overused themes: Cop car, tank, plane, General Lee, Richard Petty, rednecks, Lightening McQueen, Gulf Oil, Poorshe, Plymouth Superbird, pimps, Blues Brothers, Mad Max. There's a whole thread on overused themes.Try to avoid them unless you're going to do it well. Themes the judges like: hot girls in skimpy clothes, obscure movie cars (e.g. Murph & the Magic Tones' Cadillac), 3rd world despots, and jokes that only "smart people" (Judges) get. To get more lovin' from the Judges, keep your theme going during the race - including the extra plywood bodywork.



pack every spare part you can fit in your trailer/tow vehicle. Even if you cant use it parts are like cigarettes in prison around a lemons paddock.

Know going in that this will become an bad habit worse than alcohol and drugs. Realize that after the first race you will be looking for another car to build and try to field multicar teams. Bring everything for your car except a spare body. I mean everything.
Realize that no matter how much prep you do you will be working on the car right up to tech. and then some.
Best of all: Every other team in a Lemons race wants you and your team to succeed and go to any extreme to help you get back on the track. Best people in any racing series.
Last edited by rhorad1 (2011-08-23 05:29 PM)

[Shaolin Crane]

i'm good at being cheap

[Vettezuki]

I put the link to the full rules in the OP of the main thread, but hey, thanks for look'n out!

[kdracer73]

Originally Posted by Vettezuki

I put the link to the full rules in the OP of the main thread, but hey, thanks for look'n out!

I just picked the stuff I found funny, or good info. The second post is stuff from the forum for new teams.

[kdracer73]

another E-30, Civic, Miata, Integra, Prelude, RX-7, Supra, Camaro or Mustang, you'd better have a good theme. Themes involving scantily clad women/men/robots (your preference)

Think:E-30, Mustang, Miata, RX, SER, 944, Integra or any car with a lumpy-sounding V-8, avoid them like the plague..

[Shaolin Crane]

I suppose when the car is near race ready i can have my paint guy pick a theme and have him go balls out, when you leave it up to his imagination he does great things for the cost of paint

[kdracer73]

Originally Posted by Shaolin Crane

I suppose when the car is near race ready i can have my paint guy pick a theme and have him go balls out, when you leave it up to his imagination he does great things for the cost of paint

The Theme/design/costumes are part of the selection process and should be chosen early in the build. Here are some exmples:













With a Mustang, it will need to be over the top. I'm thinking like:

Fuck That Racing(Cause every idea that gets thrown out there, somebody will say "FUCK THAT!") and use Ben's foam sculpture talent to make the car a giant Vagina. And our costumes penises?

[Vettezuki]

Originally Posted by kdracer73

. . . Fuck That Racing(Cause every idea that gets thrown out there, somebody will say "FUCK THAT!") and use Ben's foam sculpture talent to make the car a giant Vagina. And our costumes penises?

We are just a bunch of dicks sometimes. . .

I'll start another thread for theme ideation. (<- That's a fancy pants design word.)