[jedhead]

I saw this over at the Cadillac Owners. I died when I read it.

I don't get to see my girflriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it's almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn't make for much time to see her. When I do find time to see her, I fly from work to her house going 90 in a 55 MPH zone.

That being said, Monday I was speeding to her house from work. I was on a local highway and about 5 minutes from her house when the blue lights blinded my eyes from my rear-view mirror. Damn, I've just been pulled over.

The officer walked up to my car, asked how I was doing, then the usual "license and registration, please". Nothing out of the ordinary.

I carry a gun for my profession and still had it strapped to my side, so I showed him my work ID and gun permit BEFORE whipping out the gun and saying:

"Here's my gun! I'm allowed to carry one!"

Phew, won't do that one again.

After looking over the permit, he eyeballed my crotch.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Either he's a cop, or he has a problem with the gun.

I was asked to put my hands on the roof of the car. He pulled my 357 out of its holder.

"I'm going to hold onto this while I run your license, if you don't mind. You can step back into the car."

I got in and shut my door.

"So, Mr. Justin, why were you drivingso fast?"

At this moment, my bull**** dispenser started cranking. I could afford another ticket, but would rather not deal with an increased insurance rate. I started spitting a line of total BS.

"Well sir, my job doesn't allow me to see my fiance very much. Since this is the first time in forever that I'm going to see her, I'm rushing to her house to pop the question. I apologize for speeding, I'm just so excited to see the look on her face when I ask her to marry me."

"Do you have a ring?"

"No sir, can't afford one."

"Ah, poor kid."

"I know. Could you do me a favor and write me a ticket? I'd like to look back on this night and laugh about the time I was pulled over and given a ticket the night I was rushing to propose to my wife."

The reason I asked him this is to make my story seem to check out. I'm calling his bluff, if you will.

"Haha, you kids. I'll tell you what-- I'll do you one better. I'll escort you over there through traffic if you're in that much of a rush. Wouldn't that be more of a story?"

Damnit. The guy's caught up in making a Kodak moment when all I want to do is get him off my back and eat tacos with my girlfriend... NOT propose. I've only known the girl for two months-- not exactly ready for the big commitment yet.

"Yes sir, I do believe it would."

After giving him her street name and address, he knew exactly where to go. ****. I got in my car and followed him as his siren rang out. Traffic pulled to the side, peopled yielded at red lights, and cars stopped-- all so I could have tacos with my girlfriend.

After getting to her house, the officer stepped out of his car and knocked on her door. She opened it and stared at him, then me in a look of confusion.

"Hi, I pulled this gentleman over a few minutes ago because he was in a rush to get over here so fast. Justin? Would you like to take it from here?"

I looked at Courtney, then the officer, who wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I tried to take her inside, but the officer stood right there in the doorway to witness the event. The things I'd do to get out of a ticket.

"Courtney... I know I've only known you a short time. But, in that short time ... Will you marry me?"

She wouldn't say yes. She's younger than I am and always talked about how she wanted to date a guy forever until making a commitment.

''YES JUSTIN! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

The officer smiled and clapped as Courtney clamped her arms around my body. The neighbors, who had been wondering why a cop car with its lights on was outside her house cheered.

Courtney's parents called me and told me that they were proud that their daughter found such a nice guy.

Me? Well I got out of a ticket.

**** you. I'm engaged.

-Sideburns

I have layed on some BS to get out of a ticket, but this one takes the cake.

Bob

[SeanPlunk]

LOL, if that's true, it's hilarious

[jedhead]

Originally Posted by SeanPlunk

LOL, if that's true, it's hilarious

I used a simular story to get out of a ticket from the CHP many years ago when I was in the US Navy on the USS Kitty Hawk stationed at Coronado Island.

Bob

[SeanPlunk]

Originally Posted by jedhead

I used a simular story to get out of a ticket from the CHP many years ago when I was in the US Navy on the USS Kitty Hawk stationed at Coronado Island.

Bob

Do tell. That's awesome that you were on the Kitty Hawk! I got to go on a Nimitz Class carrier (the Abraham Lincoln) when I was younger and it was incredible!

[jedhead]

I was an E-5 on the USS Kitty Hawk in 1979 and was assigned to the Master-At-Arms (police officer for the ship) for 6 months duty. I wore my black Navy uniform with a badge and utility belt. We work 12 on 12 off for 3 days then get 3 days off shifting from day to night shift. I was looking forward to heading home in Orange County for 3 days and I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at the home she was housesitting for our 6 month anniversary. I was really looking forward to spending 3 days with my freaky girlfriend. I was using the restroom just before leaving for home when suddenly the smell of burning rope was in the air. I could not believe that someone was so stupid to be smoking weed right next to the MAA's head. I was just planning to ignore it and head home. Unfortunately I was not alone and the other guy ran out to bust the idiots. 3 hours of paperwork later I was on my way to OC. I was in a big hurry because I didn't want to risk losing out of my weekend of sex.
I was cruising in my 240Z at 85mph until I got to Oceanside and then cranked it up to 110 to 120mph. I slowed down to about 90 when I hit San Clemente. I didn't pay close attention to my rear view mirror since I was thinking about other things. Suddenly headlights and red lights came on right behind me. I just remembered that I haven't registered the car yet (I had a borrowed year sticker on my plate) and the only paper work I had on the car was a 18 month old bill of sale. Since I was way over the limit, I figured I was going to jail and the car impounded. I slowly made my way off I5 at Lake Forest and pulled into a gas station (I thought I might be able to toss a $20 to keep the car from getting impounded). I was waiting for the worst. The CHP officer walked up to the passenger window. He took one look at me in my uniform and badge and asked mw why I was going so fast. I told him that my girlfriend was waiting for me in her birthday suit (which turned out to be true) for our 6 month anniversary and I was going out to sea next week (true but for only two weeks). He told me get out of here and slow down. I did, I kept the car under 70 the rest of the way to Huntington Beach. I was so lucky.

Bob

[BRUTAL64]

Originally Posted by jedhead

I was an E-5 on the USS Kitty Hawk in 1979 and was assigned to the Master-At-Arms (police officer for the ship) for 6 months duty. I wore my black Navy uniform with a badge and utility belt. We work 12 on 12 off for 3 days then get 3 days off shifting from day to night shift. I was looking forward to heading home in Orange County for 3 days and I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at the home she was housesitting for our 6 month anniversary. I was really looking forward to spending 3 days with my freaky girlfriend. I was using the restroom just before leaving for home when suddenly the smell of burning rope was in the air. I could not believe that someone was so stupid to be smoking weed right next to the MAA's head. I was just planning to ignore it and head home. Unfortunately I was not alone and the other guy ran out to bust the idiots. 3 hours of paperwork later I was on my way to OC. I was in a big hurry because I didn't want to risk losing out of my weekend of sex.
I was cruising in my 240Z at 85mph until I got to Oceanside and then cranked it up to 110 to 120mph. I slowed down to about 90 when I hit San Clemente. I didn't pay close attention to my rear view mirror since I was thinking about other things. Suddenly headlights and red lights came on right behind me. I just remembered that I haven't registered the car yet (I had a borrowed year sticker on my plate) and the only paper work I had on the car was a 18 month old bill of sale. Since I was way over the limit, I figured I was going to jail and the car impounded. I slowly made my way off I5 at Lake Forest and pulled into a gas station (I thought I might be able to toss a $20 to keep the car from getting impounded). I was waiting for the worst. The CHP officer walked up to the passenger window. He took one look at me in my uniform and badge and asked mw why I was going so fast. I told him that my girlfriend was waiting for me in her birthday suit (which turned out to be true) for our 6 month anniversary and I was going out to sea next week (true but for only two weeks). He told me get out of here and slow down. I did, I kept the car under 70 the rest of the way to Huntington Beach. I was so lucky.

Bob

Funny what a female "Birthday Suit" will make a guy do.

[SeanPlunk]

Originally Posted by jedhead

I was an E-5 on the USS Kitty Hawk in 1979 and was assigned to the Master-At-Arms (police officer for the ship) for 6 months duty. I wore my black Navy uniform with a badge and utility belt. We work 12 on 12 off for 3 days then get 3 days off shifting from day to night shift. I was looking forward to heading home in Orange County for 3 days and I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at the home she was housesitting for our 6 month anniversary. I was really looking forward to spending 3 days with my freaky girlfriend. I was using the restroom just before leaving for home when suddenly the smell of burning rope was in the air. I could not believe that someone was so stupid to be smoking weed right next to the MAA's head. I was just planning to ignore it and head home. Unfortunately I was not alone and the other guy ran out to bust the idiots. 3 hours of paperwork later I was on my way to OC. I was in a big hurry because I didn't want to risk losing out of my weekend of sex.
I was cruising in my 240Z at 85mph until I got to Oceanside and then cranked it up to 110 to 120mph. I slowed down to about 90 when I hit San Clemente. I didn't pay close attention to my rear view mirror since I was thinking about other things. Suddenly headlights and red lights came on right behind me. I just remembered that I haven't registered the car yet (I had a borrowed year sticker on my plate) and the only paper work I had on the car was a 18 month old bill of sale. Since I was way over the limit, I figured I was going to jail and the car impounded. I slowly made my way off I5 at Lake Forest and pulled into a gas station (I thought I might be able to toss a $20 to keep the car from getting impounded). I was waiting for the worst. The CHP officer walked up to the passenger window. He took one look at me in my uniform and badge and asked mw why I was going so fast. I told him that my girlfriend was waiting for me in her birthday suit (which turned out to be true) for our 6 month anniversary and I was going out to sea next week (true but for only two weeks). He told me get out of here and slow down. I did, I kept the car under 70 the rest of the way to Huntington Beach. I was so lucky.

Bob

That's awesome - you were VERY lucky.

[Douglas Mariani]

Originally Posted by BRUTAL64

Funny what a female "Birthday Suit" will make a guy do.

Amen to that