Home
Don't have an account? Create one now! It's always free!


Forgot Password
Ed's Auto Parts - Mention MOTORGEN for a Discount!
Motorgen Sponsor: McLeod Racing
Motorgen Sponsor: American Muscle - Add style and performance to your Stang
Motorgen Sponsor: Hall Fabrication & Racing
Motorgen Sponsor: Injectors Plus - Performance Fuel Delivery Systems
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-03-2010, 03:40 PM   #1
Douglas MarianiDouglas Mariani is offline
Senior Member
 
Douglas Mariani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 558
Default Sweet Mrs. Neely

Toward the end of a Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

Eighty percent held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said,

"I outlived the bitches."
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2010, 04:14 PM   #2
VettezukiVettezuki is offline
I, Vettezuki
 
Vettezuki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 14,754
Default

__________________
Motorgen on
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Motorgen on
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Motorgen Project Car
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(active)
Motorgen Project Car
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(back burner)
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2010, 05:59 PM   #3
gunfishgunfish is offline
Senior Member
 
gunfish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 274
Default

I think I know her
__________________
It helps if the hitter thinks you're a little crazy.
-Nolan Ryan
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2010, 08:29 PM   #4
injdinjninjdinjn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 325
Default

  Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2010, 08:30 PM   #5
injdinjninjdinjn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 325
Default

Subject: Fwd: Putting Your Affairs in Order !!






The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some
bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things
aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a
martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by
some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two
were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking
to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friend's were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a
hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told
your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your
father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In
Order.'
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2010, 12:25 AM   #6
LeedomLeedom is offline
Graphics B*tch
 
Leedom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,197
Default


Good thinking on her part!!
__________________
Adam

'13 Ford Fusion SE (2.0L EcoBoost)(Conor)

'03 Zinc Yellow Mach 1(Yazmine)
290HP / 305TQ
1/4 mile ET: 13.28 @ 101MPH (1.867 60')

'99 White F-150 (4.6L)(Bud Jr.)-gone but never forgotten
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2010, 10:04 AM   #7
ChuckChuck is offline
That's Mr. Bitch to you.
 
Chuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,265
Default

that is a great idea.
  Reply With Quote
Reply



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:52 AM.