[C5Natie]

don't know how old this is but I read it in an email today and it made me laugh...

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out
of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue
lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110,
then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!"
and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked
up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift
ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason
for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

[Damian]

I've read that before but it's still funny. I showed it to the wife, she didn't think so.

[C5Natie]

Tell her this one then...

Guy walks into a bank for an armed robbery.

On his way out, some brave citizen pulls the mask off the robber.

Fearing being identified, he shoots the person dead.

Looking at the line of people he sees another looking at him and shoots him dead.

By now, everyone is looking away or at the floor.

The robber shouts "ANYONE ELSE HERE SEE MY FACE!!???"

An older fella tells him, "My wife here got a pretty good look at you"

[Vettezuki]

Wow . .

[Shaolin Crane]

A man finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your wife will get twice more than what you wished for."

The man agrees. His first wish was that he would be the most handsome man in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your wife will be twice as beautiful as you, and more men will gawk at her?"

"That's okay," says the man, "She'll only look at me because I will be the most handsome." So the wish is granted.

His second wish was that he would be the richest man in the world. "You know your wife will be twice as rich, right?" the Genie asks.

"That's okay. What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine," replied the man. So the wish was granted.

The man then thinks long and hard about his last wish. He finally replies "I wish you'd scare me half to death"