I've been adding about 2lbs a week in a calorie deficit. Sucks cause I lost 29lbs in 2 weeks. Back to 175 finally. I'd like to be back to 205 by February, heavier if possible.

Looks like we'll be signing docs this Wednesday and maybe moving as early as Friday to the compound.

Party at Ben's yo. If you need help moving LMK.

So I went down their today against my better judgment and gave her family the gifts I got them and the gift I got for her a while back. She pretended like I never existed, no thankyou, nothing. Made it easy to finally delete her existence from my life, email, phone numbers, pictures, everything. So that's that, she can hate me for whatever reason that makes her sleep at night, as for me, I regret treating her so well because in the end I was still the bad guy. I hope life slaps her hard and she can finally learn to appreciate when someone cares for her.

I know it may sound weird, but in a way, she did you a favor; making it easier to change.

Yep, i'm astonished at how she unflinchingly denied the things I did for her, huge things that no one could/would have done for her. Simply in the past semester, she was on the verge of not attending school. I drove down to cal state LA and back to citrus 4 times to make sure all her paperwork was taken care of so she wouldn't lose her job AND be able to go to school. Her response was simply "you can't use the past things you've done for me as brownie points in this situation" so as hard is it is to move on, if that's how she viewed everything done for her then good riddance. Now I won't feel so bad about hitting up that girl I met in that bar a week back.

If happiness is a primary goal for you, as it is for me, just try to keep the good memories, they're real, and let the rest turn to dust. Move forward with your life, never dwelling too much on what's past. How we feel about things is very much a matter of choice. It's not a matter of infinite power perhaps, but we do decide if we want to be masters or slaves to thoughts and feelings.

I want to forget all of it, every ounce of it. If she can dismiss it that easily then apparently she was acting for a long time before this. Girl deserves an Oscar.

There are a whole lot of plausible scenarios other than her just "acting". Most people, especially younger and less experience, are simply conflicted and constantly shifting in their thoughts and feelings. They don't know themselves all that well or what they really want.

Who knows, she's been reading the forum, i know she logged into my email multiple times before I changed the password, so for someone who wants to forget I existed she seems to be doing a whole lot of snooping. I've gotten at least 3 alert notifications that someone tried logging into my gmail. At this point its getting very tiresome and i'd like it to stop.

I'm sure she's even reading this from a different IP, i'm tired of her playing games with me.