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View Full Version : Dear neighbors.


Jammer89
01-03-2012, 10:47 PM
Dear, Neighbors. Thanks for calling code enforcement on me because my lawn is brown right now. Forget last summer, when it was lush and green, let's focus on now, when it's a nice wintery brown. My best description of you dictates that you are most likely from some tropical land and you feel obligated to make sure everyone around you shares the same enthusiasm about watering their lawn in near freezing conditions we are experiencing during the late AM hours. I wouldn't know who your are and what you are about because you haven't introduced yourself to me. It's only been 6 years. It's probably for the best. I would also like to apologize for the massive tree branch that fell in my yard due to the 80+ mph winds we had two weeks ago. I should have hired a group of illegally employed workers to rectify that promptly. I didn't though. My bad. I was busy struggling to support my family of four against all odds and against this states skewed ideal of who should live here. Thanks for your choice in home decor. The five shades of blue on your house is becoming of our neighborhood and I'm quite sure the rest of our neighbors agree with your superior intellect in home improvement. Do you know Tim Taylor? I don't even think he uses spray paint to paint his shutters. In closing, my suggestion to you is to stay the fuck away from me. I'm sure you haven't had the opportunity to feel a redneck's foot in your ass and I'm quite certain you don't want to.

Redondo Jon
01-03-2012, 11:51 PM
Well put. :clapping:

Chuck
01-04-2012, 06:12 AM
Was this letter nailed to the door?

Jammer89
01-04-2012, 07:22 AM
^ No. It was actually taped to my door with duct tape.

enkeivette
01-04-2012, 07:42 PM
Just have your kids turn on your freakin sprinklers once a week, they'd prob enjoy it.

Damian
01-04-2012, 07:43 PM
I hate people that have nothing bhetter to do than get their nose into other peoples buisiness.

Some people just dont make any sense to me at all. You have the people that want you to conserv water, yet complain that your grass is turning brown. Some people are just never happy.

blackax
01-04-2012, 09:35 PM
Just do what i do when my neighbors start being bitches. I play loud heavy metal music right next to the fence and leave it on till late into the night (9 or 10) and then turn it on again the next morning. do that for a few days an they shut the hell up good.

Shaolin Crane
01-05-2012, 09:41 PM
Leave the letter on the door, eventually they'll come knocking, when they do, make sure you answer the door nekkid, problem solved.

Vettezuki
01-07-2012, 04:14 AM
It is also occasionally possible to talk to people to resolve whatever the underlying tensions are. :huh:

anthonydalrymple
01-08-2012, 09:33 AM
It is also occasionally possible to talk to people to resolve whatever the underlying tensions are. :huh:

Not a bad idea if they listed whom was making the complaint. But you know that'll never happen because the odds of the complainer being shot increase exponentially....;)

enkeivette
01-08-2012, 02:51 PM
It's always best to go read the actual municipal code violation, often there's a way out. I've been cited serveral times for workin on my vette, boat or jet skiis outside.

I was lucky enough to find that there was an exception for doing 'ordinary maintenance' sat through mon, or something like that. So I got out of it.

There may be some exception for your lawn, and you may be able to argue it.Not for sure, but it never hurts to read and check. :thumbs_up:

Small White Car
01-09-2012, 10:03 AM
So wait, who found what letter addressed to whom?


I need to figure out which one is the asshole.

Well one is for sure it would seem but which is which?

Also I've found the best way to avoid violence is to meet head on, tends to level stuff up right away.

I don't like you, you don't like me so let's just 'furniture' each other. That means when I see you, I'm gonna treat you like an end table or armoire in the hallway, I won't move you unless it's needed but I won't go out of my way to make you need moving so please do the same for me and life will run oh so much better for everyone.

Jammer89
01-09-2012, 07:13 PM
No letter. Just a notice of violation from code enforcement. SBMC 15.24.040A2. Unmaintained landscaping. In the description of the violation it says "please seed and/or sod all bare dirt areas of landscape, irrigate, mow and maintain on a regular basis". There were a few dirt spots where gophers made mounds. Probably a total of 4 square feet in a total of 300 sq. ft. of lawn area. The lawn was short and had brown spots. Grass is dormant during winter and the amount of watering it takes to maintain a golf course type lawn was not to my liking. We had freezing conditions for nearly a month and I'm no gardening expert, but common sense says that you shouldn't water a lawn or anything else for that matter if there is a chance it will freeze to death. I do have planters with shrubs, jade plants, elephant plants, and some perennial flora. The beds are dirt with a weedguard. The lady who owns this house lives right across the street and has a beautiful 4,000 sq. ft. house with a brown lawn. I wave to her and she asks me how things are going and tells me her husband is still very satisfied with the headers/exhaust system I installed on his pick up. We have a very good relationship with each other. Her granddaughter hangs out over here and plays with my kids.

As for who called. I don't know the people. All I can say is that we (my family) lead a normal life. I don't have loud parties that last into the we hours. I never play loud music. I think that's very rude and disrespectful. Period. I've never had an altercation with anyone. This is the third time I've been sited for various violations. They range from running a business out of my home (still don't understand that) to my house numbers being a certain size. They need to be 4" inches high in size. Everyone else has tiny ass numbers painted on the curb or mailboxes. I've also gotten harassed because the paint on my house wasn't sufficient. I never corrected that because I DON'T WTF THEY WERE BITCHING ABOUT. I never got a citation for that either. Maybe I'm just a target for the city to come check on every year. I don't know. My anger just stems from the fact that my neighbors house is about four shades of blue. No lie. The shutters really are spray painted and the job they did was plain shotty. They also made some shitty shades covering 90 % of the window out of angle iron and canvas, two different shades of blue. I'm a little butthurt because my lawn was a little brown during the winter and their house looks like a home in the hills of Mexicali. What's worse? If we had a HOA here, they would be breakfast.

I watered my lawn everyday for the two weeks they allowed me to fix my heinous crime and it's still kinda brown.

Shaolin Crane
01-09-2012, 08:21 PM
Dont lie, you have parties :D

Jammer89
01-09-2012, 08:33 PM
Dont lie, you have parties :D

Not loud ones though! And never any loud music or anything that goes past 10 or so.

Btw, I'll be having another one real soon. It wouldn't kill you and Vanessa to show up. I'll invite the peeps here too. :D

Shaolin Crane
01-09-2012, 08:40 PM
And no one has ever done burn outs in your back yard either :smack:

Jammer89
01-09-2012, 08:54 PM
.... because line-lock checks are illegal on the street and I stopped that as soon as I finished up with my crack in the bathroom:rolleyes2:. Other than that, it's quiet around here. You can hear old people fucking around here.

Shaolin Crane
01-09-2012, 09:12 PM
Just giving you a hard time dude. I've been there for your parties and it definitely isnt the worst one ive been to