When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires

[heypal]

Over the past 6 months, I have been playing a fun game with my credit card company. The game finally backfired on me today and led me through the most hilarious moment of my life. Most people would have been embarrassed, but me, I'm a little twisted, so I laughed all the way through it like an asshole.



With any story, there is a setup process. Here is the setup to this story. About 6 months ago, I was making a purchase with my credit card and when I went to sign the electronic signature machine, it was broken. By broken, I mean that when I touched the pen to the machine, it went crazy and didn't look anything like my signature. It looked like a drunk 4 year old signed my name for me. It accepted the signature without any problems. So this really made me wonder what I could do to give my credit card company something to laugh about. I mean, they obviously don't review the signatures since they never called me or declined a purchase. For fucks sake, it could have been a stolen card.



I started out modest by signing with a line or an "X". Occasionally I would do last name first. After a couple of months, I became bolder. I wrote goofy shit, drew pictures, etc. Here's a list of some of my favorite signatures over the past few months:



I AM NOT ZEB
I STOLE THIS
FUCK OFF
FUCK YOU
WALMART SUCKS
CALL ME
CROTCHY CROTCHINGTON
MY BALLS ITCH
911
I'M A CRIMINAL
THANKS FOR THE STUFF



Today I went the extra mile. When it came time to sign my name, a thought popped in my head. I should draw a picture. But what picture should I draw? I smirked as something completely juvenile came to me. This is a rough drawing of the signature that I provided:

http://drunkrepublic.com/images/stories/signature.jpg


Yes, I know, it's not my best artwork, but I didn't have the time to be elaborate with the drawing. I had to look like I was providing a signature. Right after I hit "OK", there was a pause. The register then said "COMPARE SIGNATURE ON SLIP TO CARD." One thought popped in my head: "OH FUCK!" It then printed the receipt and there in black and white was my shitty drawing of cock and balls. The lady at the register didn't immediately look at it. She asked for the card. I handed her the card and she flipped it over. Then she brought up the receipt and she smirked, but then took a stern tone and said "These signatures don't match."



At this point I was in tears from trying to hold back my laughter. I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but it didn't matter. I probably didn't make sense as I laughed hysterically through the explanation. She then paged the manager and I erupted in laughter. The guy behind me in line got a glimpse of my signature on the receipt and began laughing. The manager comes up and the woman from the register begins whispering to him. I then hear a few words "he drew a penis..." as she holds up the receipt. The manager blurts out a short laugh and then controls it. He turns to me and I'm out of breath from laughing and I'm still giggling like a schoolgirl.



Manager: Sir, your signature...heh...umm...doesn't match the signature on your card.
Zeb: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
**The guy behind me bursts into laughter.**
Zeb: Yeah, I didn't think this would happen. I've been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it.
Manager: I guess you learned your lesson.
Zeb: Yeah, the credit card doesn't accept penis.
**The guy behind me now can't stop laughing.**
Manager: OK, I'm going to decline the signature and have you sign it again.
Zeb: Fair enough.
Manager: This time, really sign it.



So I had to sign it again and they wouldn't let me keep my artwork. Those bastards. I had singlehandedly broken up the monotony of their daily routine and given them something that they will be talking about for years to come and they wouldn't let me keep it. They will tell their grandchildren about the guy that drew cock and balls as his credit card signature.



So I have a plan now. I'm going to get a new credit card and sign the back with my cock and balls drawing. Then I will consistently use that as the signature. That way, if I ever get caught in the same situation, the signatures will match. That will really fuck with them.

lol got it from http://drunkrepublic.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=97:when-your-credit-card-signature-fun-backfires&catid=34:humor&Itemid=28

[gsteichen]

Thanks for the GREAT story! Tears are running down my face from trying to read the story to my wife. Can't wait for your adventure to start showing up online as an urban myth.

[Leedom]

Just got one thing to say Jerry.... Classic.:bigthumbsup:

[SeanPlunk]

:rolling:

[enkeivette]

That is the hardest that I've ever laughed at anything that I've ever seen on the internet.

[kdracer73]

You where just pissed they ran out of cowbells...:laugh: Awesome !!!!

[elevatordude]

If I was the guy behind you i wouldn't have been able to breathe i would have been laffing so damn hard... good one:rolling:

[BRUTAL64]

Now, that is just "priceless".:laugh::smack::drink:

[st-evo-9*corn fed-8urvet*]

oh shit dude you have bawls!!! nice one though not too many things can make me cry at 9:36 in the morning

[SeanPlunk]

oh shit dude you have bawls!!! nice one though not too many things can make me cry at 9:36 in the morning

Steve, how is the rebuild going on the Evo?

[silvertermi04]

Sean dont steal the thread dude, lol and jerry u can never be normal can u. LOL : )

[enkeivette]

What's even better is that half the time the signature shows up on the screen while they're signing it. Asking the employee if they accept the signature or not. Think it was that way at Best Buy.

[big2bird]

I told a client about this thread today. We had a great laugh at Lowes. I dam near tried it too.:sm_laughing:

[TimAT]

I just blew coffee out my nose. Beer has nothing on coffee.

That is a really funny story. Damn

[thisgirlkera]

HAHAHA :rolling: what a great story. reminds me of the time i accidently signed my name on there instead of my moms for her credit card and i never had a problem!

[BlacknBoostn]

omg haha. Lets try this!!!

[SexyLxy]

That is almost as bad as walking up to the in-n-out counter and asking for your french fries "doggy style" instead of "animal style."

***Note...I did not do this but someone we know did. Whoops.

Good read! If it wasn't for me reading it here at work, I would totally be on the floor. My cubical buddie popped her head over and asked if I was crying b/c I was trying to hold it in so bad.

[heypal]

lol doggie style fries.

I normally order a DR. pap smear instead of dr. pepper.

[compsystems]

Great story,

At first I thought it was true, totally something you would do.

Thanks for the laugh.

[Josh]

hahaha awesome. I always sign "God"

[Douglas Mariani]

That was so funny I can't breath . I gave up trying to read it to my wife. Got to go ....... need air